Arcadian

I think I should put a little disclaimer out there that I’ve really gravitated away from these kinds of films. While I found this one to be relatively ok and enjoyed some parts of it, I think I reached my own level of saturation for these kinds of movies a good while ago. I will still watch them on occasion. I’ll go back and revisit a zombie flick that I enjoy like one of the first couple Return of the Living dead movies. But for the most part I think I got to the point where the total lack of hope for survival became too prevalent and the whole endeavor seemed like a waste of time. And I won’t limit this criticism to simply horror flicks. I had the same problem with natural disaster films and even movies like the Independence Day sequel. When there’s too much destruction and it’s just not believable that humanity could survive, I’m not interested in watching the last few members of the human race trying to eek things out in the unforgiving wilderness. Now I didn’t watch this movie against my own will or anything. It was not an exercise in pushing my own emotional limits. It really did come down to the fact that this is one of the few Jaeden Martell films I hadn’t seen and since I had such a good time with his performance in Mr. Harrigan’s Phone, I fired this one up. Even in watching this film, I didn’t dislike the film. I think I just don’t like the premise to begin with in many cases.

The film starts off with Cage in a solo capacity. He’s on the run looking for supplies at what seems to be the front part of the end of the world. Things are clearly heading in a not so great direction. He hides himself from being seen and in doing so, he stumbles upon two baby boys that he literally takes under each arm. From there we get the “15 Years Later” sign. While I appreciate this jump, there was a part of me that was a little curious of an aged Nicolas Cage raising two babies in the apocalypse that just seemed relatively preposterous. I mean these were baby babies. Diapers and bottles and all that jazz. And the thing is that the monsters come out at night. I don’t know when that started. I don’t know if that was in play the whole time. It’s not really given to us when that piece of the puzzle makes itself known. But you have to imagine that this elder Cage clad with two infants trying to make it work is kind of a mystery on how it worked for 15 years, right? I know beginning to nitpick the movie in the opening sequence is a dangerous route to go if I’m going to have any chance at enjoying this movie, but it’s where I was.

So we flash forward to Cage with his two teenage sons. They call them twins but I don’t know why. They don’t look alike at all. Maybe it was just something he liked to say at parties, who knows. But he’s got these two sons and they seem to have a pretty solid routine down. There’s Thomas and Joseph. I think Martell was Thomas and the other kid was Joseph. I don’t 100% remember and it’s also not really important. Thomas is the studious, quiet and respectful one who follows the rules and routinely seems to expand his mind through reading and observing the world around him. Joseph is an ass. He’s perpetually motivated to “go to the Rose farm” because that’s where his little girlfriend is. Now you know from the very start of all this that it’s going to be a problem. When darkness falls, these creatures show up so you’d better be inside. Thomas has a system based on the shadow of the sun through the afternoon windows on knowing when they have to be inside by and from our introduction we realize Joseph enjoys pushing things to the limit and gets home just in time for everyone to head inside and lock the house down. At one point, the creatures that come out at night make their way to the countryside home and beat on the door, attempting to get in. It really sets the stage for what kind of danger waits for them at night.

Cut to the next day. Repairs need to be made to the door that was viciously scratched up. We find out Thomas has been working on a sort of ATV work truck in trying to get it into working order. Through some help from their father, the little truck becomes usable and the boys have some chance to try their hand at driving. This will revolutionize how they search for supplies across the countryside. Cut to the boys being sent out to collect scrap and Joseph simply wanting to go to Rose farm. What an ass. He whines enough for Thomas to tell him he doesn’t need his help scrapping and they set a plan to meet back up at a particular gate on Thomas’s way back home so they both arrive in time. Thomas goes and scraps and Joseph goes to Rose farm. On the way back Thomas waits as long as he can at the gate and assumes Joseph has already returned home. He has no idea that Joseph has actually left later than he should and on his run home he has slipped and fallen into a cavern and ends up out after dark. Arriving home without his brother, Thomas’s father grabs a bag and heads out into the night to find Joseph. This is why I don’t like these movies.

I know there is no movie without a deviation from the plan. The problem I have is that they’ve been living in harmony for 15 years, at least relatively speaking. They’ve achieved a “new” homeostasis. They’ve had to reset the boundaries a bit but for the boys, it’s literally all they’ve ever known. Cage is the only one with memory of life before all this. And the reason I don’t tend to enjoy movies like this is that it’s predicated on an easily avoidable error from people who are competent enough to avoid it. That’s what I don’t like. I know everybody makes mistakes. That happens. But the kinds of mistakes that have to happen in these movies are purposefully small enough that they should be avoided otherwise the calamity is not as great. It has to be something that wouldn’t have otherwise happened. It’s not like the house blew up and they had to find all new shelter. There wasn’t an asteroid shower and it nearly killed everyone. Nope. Joseph took a wrong step when he tried to vault over a whole he did every day. That was enough to set in motion the downfall of everything they had come to know as normal. Now there are things that catch up with the people in this film that would have otherwise also disrupted things but the inevitability of that is only meant to compound the dilemma, not create it. There’s other issues afoot that will only add to the tension.

That’s where I’ll end my recap of the movie because there’s plenty left to be explored should you wish to check out this movie. What I enjoyed about this movie was primarily Martell’s character. He was thoughtful and respected their way of life. Everybody is going to have days where whatever life ends up being gets old. Being filthy rich doesn’t mean you still can’t wake up and just have a frustrating day. It’s the great equalizer to us all. Even in this three man family unit, each of them has certainly had days where they are just tired of going through the motions. But the window by which we get to experience this movie shows us a limited view of Thomas. He’s the good son. He works hard. He’s smart. He’s dedicated. He understands the way things work. He sees the world for what it is and is willing to live within it as they have to. He has dreams and aspirations but keeps them in check. Joseph is selfish. It’s his inability to prioritize things correctly that leads towards a huge disruption in their entire way of life that threatens everything. Ultimately, without Thomas’s magnanimity and willingness to accept the things that have happened to them all, the whole story ultimately falls apart.

What I didn’t like about this movie what the story was predicated upon things going wrong. I know that’s typically the case in most horror movies. Honestly a change in the natural order of things is a pretty standard means by which to tell a story. Again, while I know this, I also don’t like the fact that something has to go wrong and the costs associated with it have to be as high as they are. The story is told well and the characters fit their roles well. All of the actors are quite capable in what they are doing. I just know I’m not going to like when calamity strikes and there’s no way around it. It’s going to happen. Without it, I’m literally just watching people collect supplies for 90 minutes and live a relatively quiet life on the country side while monsters attack at night. I know that could otherwise still be a pretty entertaining story. But something always has to go wrong for the action to kick up a notch and then things get hairy.

In the end I’ve gotta give this movie a solid C. I know it seems like most things end up going that way but I think I still have to say that for horror movies, a C is a pretty solid grade since there are so many bad ones out there. This movie was worth the watch. It definitely doesn’t inspire a purchase by any means so we are well outside of B territory. And even a rewatch feels questionable. I don’t regret watching it so I wouldn’t give it that minus treatment. It really does feel like almost a perfect middle of the road horror movie. I’m sure some of the more intense moments present a much more fulfilling “scary” movie to many people. But in the end this movie just kind of existed for me and when it was done I was ok with it. Some things happened. I didn’t hate them. I didn’t love them. They just were. And now that it’s over it’s ok that it’s over. I’m good with that. And because of that, I think I’m also done with this review of my experience with Arcadian. So on that note we’ll cue the music. Until next time, I’ll catch you on the flip side.