5: Our 10 Favorite Transformers, Review of Transformers: The Last Knight (hint it sucks)

I am your host to the left. In the ancient days when the stirring of the great volcano foretold the coming of the Cinemasters, I prepared the way by imbibing the forgotten lore of all things Cine-magical, hence I am the one who drinks. It is through my liquid merriment that I bind my talents to the other half of our intrepid duo to expertly craft the audio and visual wonderment beholden to the masses via the internets of old. By the secret wisdom handed to me through fluid consumption, our awesomeness is perfected like an electrical shock wave out of the tip of a unicorn horn directly into the aortic valve of your heart where the secrets of the universe are hidden. I am romantically entangled with a wondrous lady whom I call my wife. She has bore me the progeny of a son and a daughter and it is by this offspring that it is possible for me to be a Rad Dad. Everything seen and heard from the Cinemasters is by my hand.